I'M BACK!!!

WOOWOO!!! I so neglected my blog.
....BUT OF COURSE I DID. i seriously never been good at keeping up with journals to begin with. I figured that I would have this time around but obviously that wasn't the case.
For a short update, the mural is done and looks pretty amazing.... maybe amazing isn't the word. Whatevs,  moving on. It looks great. Got to thank my friend for helping me out a bit on it. Overall I'm happy with the out come. I'll take a picture and finally post it up. On another sad note, I now am with out a camera.
Its like all my gadgets decided that they hate me and broke down on me. BASTARDS!!!! now i'm on the hunt for  a new camera!!! ITS ABOUT TIME REALLY.

Creative Juices Flowing

Much to my surprise, I found myself at Micheal's wanting to buy the whole store and just getting all my ideas made. Why, to my surprise?
Lately I've been lacking the motivation and creativity to let alone come up with an idea to do anything. I feel we all get side track with reality that we forget those little things that we love to do. I love to get my hands dirty, with anything crafty or gardening, whatever as long as I'm in it for something "artsy" (ha,I kind of dislike that term)
So, as I'm at Micheal's with my little sister. That awesome light bulb lights up! I tell her
'Are you down to start our own jewelry project?' all she had to say is yes and My mind couldn't stop all the ideas swimming in my head.
I bought these army inspired metal thingys. sorry i don't know what to really call them banged? You'll see in the photo below. I got them and I'm going to make them into earnings.

The photo is miss leading I know, but I wanted to wear it already. I decided to pair it off with my locket with the photo of my mother in it.

On the other hand I fianlly started to paint my wall in my apt. I didn't mention this before only because I wasn't too sure if I wanted to blog about it.

<<-- (Ok, this is the WORST PHOTO EVER but the only one I found with the beginning stages.)

Now I am, its hands on with this project and its 'ARTSY' hahaha
Unfortunately I fucked up but not taking stills of the process. I have a few. Which are the ones I'm sharing with all of you. I'll post the Final outcome.

This is the progress of last night!
I hope you all enjoy it as much as I enjoyed painting it. It's soo exciting that its gotten me in this awesome happy mood. I'm loving life!
Thanks everyone 'till the next POST.

“Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand.” -Albert Einstein

Stress

It seems after the ending of last August everything slowly started to fall apart. It didn't really hit me because I was thinking of everything I could do that I WASN'T ABLE TO. It was nice to take charge of my life as the #1 person in mind. Right before the New Year my laptop went down, then my precious camera and then other gadgets... AWWW!!)'':
My financial situation got crazy and kind of out of control. My stress level got higher and then work took a toll. Which took the stress level off the charts. Never in my life did I have soo much stress that I broke out like crazy.
I'm going to be very honest I nearly cried my ass off. I never took for granted my skin but my health yes I did kind of. *sigh*
After my worried mind takes over, all I can ever think of is all the songs that I can relate (I should make a playlist of all those songs.) & my mother. To think of her at my age comes nothing close to my life. So, here's my solution to all this BS.
1. Stop and take a DEEP BREATH!
2. Exercise to relief myself from all the stress.
3. Venting is good but don't ever take it out on anyone it will only bite you in the ass.
4. Start to get all those crappy days out of the way and make a plan to get on the road to success.
5. NEVER THINK THAT SOMEONE WILL SAVE YOU, this isn't Disney!
Life is always going to be harder when you get older. Its all about the way you make it matter.

p.s. blogging with a mobile phone sucx. Hence less blog posts.

Brain Damage

Have you ever associated anything to someone?
It could be anything, music, movies, books, television, anything to anyone.
Someone you love, hate, friends, family, partner etc.
Has it ever come to a point where no matter what you'll do it'll remind of this person?
I heard not to long ago how negativity really doesn't make you look past a certain
limit. because of this; 'Good things don't last forever'.
If you really beging to think of this, Process it and Analys it. Its every true.
You as a person hold the key to making this a positive or negative outcome.
Just because something doesn't "last forever" doesn't mean that it will be forgotten.
Now let me get back to this association to things.
I can say i've had my share of "not forever" moments.
To be in a relationship with anyone and I'm not just saying in the oppisite sex.
Friends, Family & the opposite sex is work.
To try to make it a healthy one that can with stand time. Its hard.
While this has happened I've gathered all this different associations.
Music mainly gets me a odd mood depending on the song and the person its going back to.
With that said, I don't regret ever linking one of my favorite bands to this person.
Damn! It hasn't failed me yet to make that association.
It comes at me like a scene of a movie.
While I sit there listening to the song passionately in the mood. My mind begins to draw out his form.
A glimps of light hits his face and I can make out his eyes looking at me while he sat there driving on the freeway. The details pour like endless water....
As all the pieces of the puzzle have come together i find it that the association has become a bad one.
Now all that "not forever" moment has a negative outcome vs. seeing it as a positive one.
We all expierence events in our lives that will "break us or make us".
This moment defenitly made me.

It all began with a dream?!

Its kind of odd to have waken up from a dream and then to have fallen back to the same dream when falling back asleep. Maybe to others it's happened but never me.
I take that back never a good dream. I'be had a lot of bad dreams where its happened, I would say at least three. This would be my first good one. What it all meant I have no idea.
I've been having dreams of a baby girl.
What does it mean?
Does it even have meaning?

I have to say its odd to have been there n felt all that at such a young age, what else does this life have to offer me after that.
Why does it always feel like I've come to some odd understanding.

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Time Heals All or Does It?

I'm not much of a writer.
Yet, that doesn't stop me from expressing something i feel, something i feel i know.
I've been giving a thought and more so now that it became a topic of conversation with the person in my life that i trust the most.
I wonder if the person I am ever really cared enough before to have gotten this far or did life take place and I let myself leap in to the that fast lane and take the ride?
With that I start here. when do we as people start to care about what others have to say about us?
I mean I really lived a life that I just said "fuck you and the bitch you come with" if anyone ever tried to put me down.
a self survival technique. when I start to think now. As I'm getting older things certainly change.
the thought of letting down someone, the thought of their judgement come into play.
Word, words, WORDS!
The words espaced me in a moment of crucial time. A moment in time that it all could have made a difference.
Yet, they escaped me. Now looking back I'm glad they did. Words that in reality wouldn't have made a difference at all.
It became apperantly clear that the cookie crumbles with such elegance. One can't disturb the beauty of chaos!
A chaos that was made with love, a love that was meant to break away!
Words are missing from this page, missing from my mind.
The change of my mind comes with a simplicity that doesn't allow me to become someone I was.
Regardless of someone's judgement I FEEL either happiness, pain, or nothing at all. It's real. I'm real, not only because I'm saying it is. As a human nature we all change we'll evolve into a good, bad, or simply just the in between person.
TIME IS A HEALER OF ALL, Time doesn't wait but we make time for those we care, those we love to FEEL that lovely chaos or just that bliss.
Aw I feel!
I'll hang all those moments up! Your past is a maker of your future.....

Missing that passion of photography

Santa Monica Beach, California 6/14/09
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Looking thru a gallery lost in my Flickr account makes me kind of sad. I was hands on my photography. I start to think of today's times and who doesn't own a camera and take photos.
Regardless of this it didn't make me stop. I love it as a hobby, an interest with great passion since a child. I don't think of myself as a great photographer and I'm content with that. I'm not trying to make my mark in the world for it. It makes me happy.
Looking at this shot makes me wonder why I stopped to begin with.

I didn't renew my Flickr account and with their free version I lost a lot of my photos. Made me sad. I dislike how real life takes into play and we loose touch of those things we love to really do. Now I have to get back in the "game" and start snapping away my camera. No more missing, more taking action. Grabbing that camera and getting on the road to new photos to share with everyone to enjoy. =)
One thing I love about photography is before that button gets clicked. I'll look around and remember the scenery and a song that will go along with my mood. When I'll come back to a photo I'll remember how it all went down right before the photo was captured.
With that said I'll be leaving you guys with a song that reminds me of this photo.



Till the next post! Have a Good Day!